Are You Ready To Leave Home?

A young man in Ghana named Mensah is quoted  saying,“I sometimes feel that people are looking down on me because I’m 23 and still living with my parents, like I won’t be an adult until I live on my own."

“I’m nearly 20, and I hate it that my opinions mean very little to my family.Particularly regarding how my life is run. I’ve considered leaving home.”Cathrine

LONG before you’re ready to leave home, you may begin to feel a desire for independence. That feeling is normal. After all,God’s original purpose was for youths to grow up and eventually leave their father and mother and establish their own family unit. (Genesis 2:23, 24; Mark 10:7, 8) But how can you know when you truly are prepared to leave home? Consider three important questions you need to answer. The first is . . .What Are My Motives?

Consider the list below and number in order of importance, the reasons why you want to leave home.

․․․․․ Escape problems at home

․․․․․ Gain more freedom

․․․․․ Improve my status with my friends

․․․․․ Help out a friend who needs a roommate

․․․․․ Help with volunteer work in another location

․․․․․ Gain experience

․․․․․ Ease the financial burden on my parents

․․․․․ Other ․․․․․

The reasons listed herein are not necessarily bad. The question is, What is your motive? For example, if you leave just to escape restrictions, you’re likely in for a shock!

Kafui, who left home for a while when she was 20, learned a lot the hard way. She says: “We all have to live with restrictions of some sort. When you’re on your own, your work schedule or lack of finances will restrict what you can do.” Afful,another who moved overseas for six months, says: “I enjoyed the experience, but I often felt that I had no free time! I had to keep up with the normal housework—cleaning the apartment, fixing things, pulling weeds, washing clothes, scrubbing floors, and so on.”

Don’t allow others to rush you into a decision. (Proverbs 29:20) Even if you have valid reasons to leave home, you’ll need more than good intentions. You’ll need survival skills—which leads to the second question . . .Am I Prepared?

Moving out on your own is like journeying in the wilderness. Would you trek into wild country without knowing how to set up a tent, light a fire, cook a meal, or read a map? Not likely! Yet, many young ones move away from home with few of the skills necessary to run a household.

(Proverbs 14:15) “the shrewd one considers his steps.” To help you determine whether you’re prepared to step out on your own, consider the following headings. Tick ✔ next to the skills you already have and an X next to those you need to work on.

□ Money management: “I’ve never had to make my own payments on anything until i moved says Gilbert. “I was  afraid of leaving home and having to budget my money.” How can you learn to manage money?

 “A wise person will listen and take in more instruction.” So why not ask your parents how much it’s likely to cost each week for one person to cover the rent or mortgage, buy food, and run a car or pay other transportation costs? Then have your parents assist you on  how to budget your money and pay your bills.

□ Domestic skills: How do you know if you’re ready to care for yourself? Lilian 20, offers this suggestion: “Try living for a week as if you were on your own. Eat only food that you prepare for yourself, that you buy for yourself at the store, and that you pay for with money you have earned. Wear clothes that you wash and iron. Do all your own housecleaning. And try to get where you need to go by yourself, with no one picking you up or dropping you off.” Following these suggestions will... (1) give you valuable skills and (2) increase your appreciation for the work your parents do.

Lilian went on to say "my greatest fear  about leaving home was how i could do my own laundry/washing".

□ Social skills: Do you get along so well with people around you(friends,parents and siblings? If not, you might assume that life will be easier when you move in with a friend. But consider the experience of a Canadian i met while we ferry between Kete-Krachi and Akosombo a 15hrs trip on lake Volta: “Two of my friends moved in together. They were best friends before they shared the apartment, but they just couldn’t live with each other. One was neat, the other messy. One was spiritually-minded, the other not so much. It just didn’t work!”

What’s the solution? Erin 38, says: “You can learn to relate with other people,by first getting along with people of your household. You learn how to handle problems and make compromises when the need arise.  Those who leave home to avoid disagreements with their parents learn to run away from conflicts, not to resolve them.”

□ Personal spiritual routine: There are yet others who leave home with the specifically escaping their parents’ religious routine. Others fully intend to maintain a good personal program of Bible study and worship but soon drift into bad habits. How can you avoid ‘shipwreck of your faith’?Establish a good personal routine of Bible study and worship, and then stick to it. Why not write your spiritual routine on a calendar and see if you can maintain it for a month without your parents’ having to prod you to do so?

Finally, consider where you'll be going

Where Am I Headed?

 Leaving home to get away from problems,break free from parental authority without considering what lies ahead,can be likened to driving a car with your eyes fixed on the rearview mirror—you’re so preoccupied with what you’re moving away from that you’re blinded to what lies ahead. The lesson? Don’t just concentrate on moving away from home—have your eyes fixed on a worthwhile goal.

Whatever your goal may be, think it through. “The plans of the diligent one surely make for advantage,” s“but everyone that is hasty surely heads for want.” (Proverbs 21:5) Listen to your parents’ advice. (Proverbs 23:22) Pray about the matter. And as you make up your mind, consider the Bible principles just discussed.

The real question is not Am I ready to leave home? but Am I ready to manage my own household? If the answer to that latter question is yes, then you may well be ready to strike out on your own.